Conference Conversation

It’s easy to gripe about Annual Conference.  Too easy.  Uncomfortable seats, long drives, longer hours, the Bishop can’t see people standing up waiting to speak at the microphones, the drums are too loud, there aren’t enough drums….  I am not immune to the complaining.

I often imagine a wonderful retreat-like locale, where we could spread out in time and space and really be together.  I picture walking across a green campus to a dining hall for breakfast and I wonder how the tone of our annual gathering would change if we were “there” when we got there — no more driving in long snaking lines out to lunch and dinner, no more traipsing back to the hotel dead tired late at night then rushing to get a parking space in the morning.  If we held our Annual Conference at a place like Lake Junaluska, would we hold it differently?  Would it be less of a Christiany business meeting with pre-planned entertainment and stunts?  Would it be more spacious and leisurely and would we actually participate in the holy part of holy conferencing?

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So much better than a convention center. A girl can dream, right?

One of the most-anticipated parts of Annual Conference each year are the resolutions.  These are submitted in advance and are usually pleas for our church to make a statement about something like fracking or predatory lending.  They often anticipate an upcoming General Conference (the international United Methodist gathering every four years) and they are aimed at changing our polity or our church’s stance or statement on a particular issue.

As with much of the church, our corner of United Methodism is in constant conversation about sexuality issues.  One of this year’s resolutions was about same sex marriage, though we never talked about the resolution itself.  We spent the measly half hour allotted to discuss whether or not to discuss it right then or put it off for a year.

At the opening of Conference our Bishop announced a series of conversations that will be held during this next year, opportunities to delve prayerfully over time into issues around sexuality and the church.  When it came time for resolutions, someone made a motion to put off talking about the submitted same sex marriage resolution in favor of the prayerful conversation model being put forth by the Bishop.  That’s what we spent our half hour deciding and that’s what passed:  we will engage in conversations throughout the conference and throughout the year.

I’m not going to complain about that decision or about the way we handle resolutions generally.  I want to talk about conversation.

We have an opportunity to get to know one another better and to listen to the pain and promise in each other’s stories.  How do we prepare ourselves to listen well, faithfully, lovingly?  How do we listen when we don’t like what we are hearing?  How do we listen without immediately, simultaneously,  making ready our response?  When we are certain of the ethics and theology, how do we listen to contradictory views?  When we are in conversation with someone who is undecided, how to we engage with her as a person rather than another number to win to our side?

I don’t envy those who will organize and moderate these conversations.  It’s a tough job that deserves to be done well.  They are long overdue so people on all sides are raring to go, or at least to speak.  I wonder how the moderators will approach the process.  Are we trying to get one another to agree or to agree a little more?  Are we merely trying to “take the temperature” of this corner of United Methodism?  Will we report on the tenor of the conversations in order to assess where we are or are they meant as preamble to the one we put off and may have next year at Conference?  How will we encourage people to participate?  How will we facilitate deep, prayerful listening without shutting down passionate and pent up emotion?

I know where God has led me on these issues and where I hope our church will eventually go.  I don’t know how to get us there and I don’t have many answers for the questions I’m posing here.

I do have a few suggestions on how to proceed during this next year in Virginia:

Hold at least one conversation in every district of our conference.  It should be easy to get to a conversation nearby.  Allow and encourage folks to attend any/all that are convenient for them (not just the one(s) in their district).

Hold them on different days and in every month between now and our next Annual Conference.  Do not make assumptions about when people have time off or time to fit this in.  Again, if should be easy to make it to at least one conversation.  Hold them on Saturdays and weekdays.  Hold them during the day and in the early evening.

Require all members of Annual Conference (clergy and laity) to attend at least one conversation.  If we achieve an amazing conversational turnout (like half of all United Methodists in the Virginia Conference) but only half of those folks actually attend Annual Conference next June, we still aren’t having the same conversation.  If this is important enough to spend the year on, make it a requirement for attending Annual Conference as a member.

Publicize the conversations themselves (when and where) and some of what’s coming out of them.  Make it a media blitz and one of the communication strategies for our conference in the coming year so there is no excuse for being unaware of or uninvolved in this.  Use the email lists, conference website, Facebook, Twitter, e-Advocate, and The Advocate (to name a few) to consistently hold this up as something we are spending time on together.

Arrange the Bible study sessions of Annual Conference around this topic.  Our Book of Discipline makes it clear how we as United Methodists read scripture This doesn’t mean we will all understand every passage in the same way but it does rule out some lazy scholarship and incendiary off-base “readings.”  Help us, as a group, to read together in the context of this ongoing conversation.  Give the gathered body this grounding so that when someone veers off course, the Bishop or another moderator can gently guide them back with authority and in the context of an explicitly shared understanding of scripture.  At the very least, then we’d all be talking about the same thing when we talk about “what the Bible says.”

Pray.  Without prayerful and open hearts we won’t get anywhere.  We need more than our own experiences, theologies, and interpretations — no matter how faithful and hard won.  We need God’s Spirit to breathe in us and inspire the conversation.

Part of me dreads this conversation because I’ve been having it for more than 25 years now.  But I’m going to practice patience and listening and engage in it as well as I am able…Take a deep breath.  Listen.  Take part in the conversation.  May the Breath of God disrupt our usual conversations and inspire every moment.

 

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photo credit:  “Lake Junaluska,” © 2010 by justinknabb, CC BY-SA 2.0

Why You Hate Rest

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I wish I could say this was the only time I’ve had a conversation like this.  A few years ago I was asking a clergy colleague about days off and he proudly spoke of writing his sermon at home in his underwear on Fridays. 

Isn’t Friday your day off? 

Yes, but this is sermon writing.  I love doing that.

Sure you do, but it’s still work.  That’s not a day off.

He didn’t understand my point.  Maybe you don’t either.  Maybe the allure of being able to lounge in underwear all day is the siren call drowning out the distinctions you might otherwise make between work and rest.  My point was you can love your job and still take your days off.  You can love your work and your leisure. 

Last week’s article in The New York Times, “Why You Hate Work,” suggests limiting work is actually part of how we are able to love it.  The authors are part of The Energy Project, which surveyed about 20,000 people (14,000 white collar workers and 6,000 employees at a manufacturing company) and found:

Employees are vastly more satisfied and productive, it turns out, when four of their core needs are met: physical, through opportunities to regularly renew and recharge at work; emotional, by feeling valued and appreciated for their contributions; mental, when they have the opportunity to focus in an absorbed way on their most important tasks and define when and where they get their work done; and spiritual, by doing more of what they do best and enjoy most, and by feeling connected to a higher purpose at work.

Simple, no-cost changes, like giving everyone a break every 90 minutes, result in employees with a “30 percent higher level of focus than those who take no breaks or just one during the day. They also report a nearly 50 percent greater capacity to think creatively and a 46 percent higher level of health and well-being.”  No matter how appealing the findings, many companies seem to have a hard time putting these findings into practice:

Still, the forces of habit and inertia remain powerful obstacles to better meeting employee needs. Several years ago, we did a pilot program with 150 accountants in the middle of their firm’s busy tax season. Historically, employees work extremely long hours during these demanding periods, and are measured and evaluated based on how many hours they put in.

Recognizing the value of intermittent rest, we persuaded this firm to allow one group of accountants to work in a different way — alternating highly focused and uninterrupted 90-minute periods of work with 10-to-15-minute breaks in between, and a full one-hour break in the late afternoon, when our tendency to fall into a slump is higher. Our pilot group of employees was also permitted to leave as soon as they had accomplished a designated amount of work.

With higher focus, these employees ended up getting more work done in less time, left work earlier in the evenings than the rest of their colleagues, and reported a much less stressful overall experience during the busy season. Their turnover rate was far lower than that of employees in the rest of the firm. Senior leaders were aware of the results, but the firm didn’t ultimately change any of its practices. “We just don’t know any other way to measure them, except by their hours,” one leader told us. Recently, we got a call from the same firm. “Could you come back?” one of the partners asked. “Our people are still getting burned out during tax season.”

“We just don’t know any other way to measure them, except by their hours.”

So, your lack of imagination and courage will be the downfall of the rest of us?

I’m not interested in never counting hours – it can be helpful to realize you spent 10 hours on something you thought might take two.  I find promise in the phrase “a designated amount of work,” though I suspect it will take many of us a detox-like cleansing period in order to have a true sense of what amount of work to designate.  Our sense of what’s possible and appropriate for the given amount of time has been damaged. 

Earlier this week another clergy colleague, preparing to take a weeklong trip with the youth of her church, wondered if it would be OK to take off one day when she returned.  This is a trip where she will be in charge and on call 24 hours a day the entire time and she was hesitant about taking off one day to recuperate and do laundry – or do nothing at all, it’s a day off! During the conversation another colleague wondered about doing this if it was an adult group.  Why would this matter?  Presumably she thought it was “less work” to supervise adults than youth but the point of leisure and rest time is that it’s the complement to work time and the necessary balance to it. 

Ministry doesn’t get a pass here.  Ministry cannot slide by on these findings simply because meaning and significance are “built-ins.”  My conversations with colleagues demonstrate how insidious overwork is and how glaringly absent deep rest, Sabbath, and time off are.

And I mean really off.  One of the biggest values of time off and away is that when you are taking it you are off and away.  Not tethered to people/situations/projects/deadlines/sermons/hospitals someplace else.  To be truly present in the place and time you are is a gift our culture has become too adept at refusing.

That’s one of the most interesting and life-giving findings in this study:  encouragement to focus on the task at hand.  Workers who are able to set aside time for only one thing and to give it deep attention for an uninterrupted portion of the day are happier, more productive workers.  Same goes for rest.  Being “on vacation” while “reachable by email” is not being on vacation; it’s divided attention.  Taking a nap with your cell phone ringer on and by your side is an invitation to be interrupted. 

I’ve had too many chocked-full, living by the outsized list, just-going-to-do-this-one-more-thing-before-I-leave days.  Part of it is because I love my work.  But I know I’m most centered, focused, content, and fun to be around when I have adequate work and rest.  I love rest, too, but I’ve turned my back on too many days of rest. 

This summer I’m going to enjoy a couple of vacation weeks without email and with a large dose of porch.  But before that even gets here I’m going to start the detox.  I’m going to take breaks every 90 minutes, reminding myself with a handy phone alarm.  I will be considering other ways to incorporate some of these findings into the way I work. 

For now, I might just take a nap.

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photo credit: “Nap” © 2008, Quinn Dombrowski,  CC BY-SA 2.0

 

Ash Wednesday Reflection

A reflection for Ash Wednesday, preached at Wesley Memorial/Wesley Foundation during today’s worship services with imposition of ashes.

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I tried to click on a web page this week and the browser came up with a blank white screen and only these words, small, at the very top: “Too many connections.” 

 

It was the first time I’d seen this particular computer communiqué and it left me wondering.  What does “too many connections” mean?  Too many links on the page to which I was navigating and it didn’t know how to choose the one I wanted to connect with?  Too many other people just dying to get onto the Ministry Matters website right at that very moment?

I still don’t know what it meant and, after a few minutes, the site came up as normal again.  But it’s a good image for starting Lent. 

We are a culture of “too many connections.”  When’s the last time you asked someone how they were and they didn’t respond with some version of “crazy busy!”?  Too much on my plate…too many irons in the fire…not enough hours in the day…

And yet, the season of Lent calls us to pour out some of the fullness and voluntarily empty ourselves.  Lent calls us to clear away that which clutters our ability to connect with God.  Lent calls us to reflection and prayer and renewed spiritual focus, which is exceedingly hard to do when you have too many connections.

So we bring it back down to basics.  Back down to earth.  Right back to where we started.

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”  This is what Ed and I will be saying as you come forward to receive the ashes in a few minutes.  It’s a weird thing to say.  It’s an odd thing, on an ordinary Wednesday, to have someone smudge your forehead and remind you of death and dust. 

But it’s also comforting.  It reminds us that God formed us out of regular, ordinary, everyday earth and that one day our bodies will go back to the earth again.  It reminds us that we aren’t superior to or set apart from creation but part of it, connected.

Artist-writer-pastor Jan Richardson says it so beautifully in her blessing for Ash Wednesday (The Painted Prayerbook, “Blessing the Dust”).  She says the ashes remind us that we are:

marked
not for false humility
or for thinking
we are less
than we are

but for claiming
what God can do
within the dust,
within the dirt,
within the stuff
of which the world
is made,
and the stars that blaze
in our bones,
and the galaxies that spiral
inside the smudge
we bear.

You’ll head out into Lent today marked with ashes, claimed and called by God.  The way leads to wilderness, through death to life.  Stick with it.

You might be tempted to pack too much for this journey, to take along too many connections, so to speak.  Resist.

Take only what you really need and rest in the knowledge that God can and will provide the rest along the way.

Thanks be to God!

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photo credit:  public domain

Where I Stand

A friend asked me recently, commenting on the news of United Methodist clergy celebrating weddings for same-sex couples, “Where do you stand?”  Specifically, she wanted to know what I would do if a same-sex couple came to me to celebrate their wedding.

It’s not a short answer.

Our church’s fights over sexuality are part of why it took me so long to be ordained.  If I’m honest, I was hearing God at least as far back as college but was still resisting the call even during seminary.  Besides a Jonah-like stubborn streak, the sexuality wars were part of my resistance.  Some of the people who inspired me most in ministry, who gave me a vision for what it could be like to serve in the church, are gay.  I watched as they switched gears into other careers and callings.  I went to seminary with some who would be much stronger clergy then I am, but who don’t have that option available, based on their God-given sexuality. 

logo for the Reconciling Ministries Network

For too long I thought accepting God’s call to ordained ministry meant accepting everything the United Methodist Church currently states in its Book of Discipline.  (Here’s the section called The Social Principles, where our positions on most cultural issues are found.  We currently do not ordain “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” nor are clergy permitted to officiate or churches permitted to host same-sex ceremonies.)  I knew I couldn’t do that with integrity and it held me back.  I didn’t exactly have to spend time in the belly of a whale, but through years of wrestling and running I came to understand it differently.  I realized I need to be able to articulate the church’s current positions but complete agreement on non-doctrinal matters was not part of the call.

During the Jonah years, during the long-awaited ordination process, and during my ministry I have not been quiet about my disagreement.  In my preaching, teaching, conversation, writing, witness and pastoral care, I have not been quiet.  But let me be crystal clear:  love is love; I fully support LGBTQ people, marriage equality, and ordination regardless of sexuality.  I think our church is wrong on this and I’m inspired by the rumblings and protests and what feels like more and more energy in the right direction.  I am rooting for change and I am trying to help enact it.

Last spring I signed An Altar for All.  I really wanted to sign the first option, that I would officiate at same-sex weddings.  After thought, prayer, and a long conversation with my husband, I signed the second option, which is “clergyperson supportive of others officiating same-sex ceremonies.” 

Of course I wanted to sign option one.  Of course I want to be able to say yes when students, alumni, and friends come to me asking to be married.  I want all of them to know they can come and I can say yes.

We’re not there yet.

The problem with taking a long time to answer God’s call to ordained ministry is I had plenty of time to get really clear on what I was answering.  The call is from God and my deepest allegiance is there, which is why I understand and support clergy who feel called to act in defiance of our current Book of Discipline (a document that is by its nature changeable, edited every four years at General Conference).  But for reasons I still don’t fully understand, God called me to ministry in the United Methodist Church and I believe God is still calling me to ministry in this church. 

When my husband and I discussed this and the dynamics of institutional change, he said, “Not everyone can be the point of the spear.”  Some are called to this.  Some are called to work more incrementally, from within the system as it currently exists.  I would love to be the point of the spear.  My ego wants that.  But being a Christian means God’s call takes precedence over the way I would write the story. 

I still hear God calling me to ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church.  And I believe God is working in the church and transforming individuals and the institution.  I hope the work goes quickly and I am trying to be part of that work – because I believe the church is better with me in it.  That’s not always a comfortable or ego-pleasing place to be, but it’s the place I feel called to be.

I don’t know what will happen in our church.  We seem to be gaining momentum, at least in the United States.  I don’t know if we’ll be tempted to split or if we’ll give in to that temptation.  Maybe, if we do, it won’t be temptation but yet another call.  I can’t tell from here.

All I can tell you is that, for now, I would have to say no to officiating at a same-sex ceremony.  Even as my heart would want to scream yes and even as I continue to work for change in the institution.  Even as it breaks my heart that we’re still here and still stuck.  Even as I would be unable to serve as a juror in a clergy trial because I’d never find someone “guilty” of officiating a same-sex wedding.  Even as it would be both a huge victory and a huge embarrassment to have the Commonwealth of Virginia “beat us to it.” 

But the end of the story is never where we think it is with God.  We worship a wily and confounding God who is surely stirring hearts and minds as She blows through this institution, messing with our ideas, allegiances, sacred cows, and callings.  So I keep attentive, keep listening, keep hopeful.  And I keep working for change, for justice.

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Photo credit:  Reconciling Ministries Network

Resonance

The first time I celebrated Communion I wrote down everything I was supposed to do.  “Arms lifted.”  “Arms down.”  “Lift bread.”  Like stage directions, so I wouldn’t forget or have to think and talk and celebrate a sacrament all at the same time.  I went over it all with my colleague Alex to make sure nothing was left out. 

Communion chalices and bread on rock outcropping

When it came time, I was not too nervous and managed to stay out of my head and focus on my script.  Until I got to “Pour out your Holy Spirit…”  The stage directions said to hold my hands over the bread and wine as I asked God to send the Holy Spirit to make these simple elements be Christ’s body and blood for us.  As I looked down and saw my own hands hovering there, I thought, That’s it?  Just my hands are enough?  Alex doesn’t have to come do something, too?

It was startling and real in a way I hadn’t expected.  And, of course, I told Alex about it later.

We worked together for four years, during which I finally stopped running from or ignoring my call to ordained ministry and agreed to go to Nineveh like God had been asking me for some time (Jonah).  I remember talking with other people in the ordination process, wondering together whether being an associate pastor or a solo pastor was more desirable.  I heard uncomfortable stories about working “for” senior pastors.  They were hard to reconcile with my own experience of stumbling into a friendship and collegial relationship with someone who was a peer in age and a mentor in ministry.

While Alex and I were still serving together, I spent a year going through CPE at the hospital.  I wrote one of my reflections about the grace and humanness Alex demonstrated while celebrating Communion.  On one occasion, as he lifted the bread, he said, “Then Jesus took the cup.”  He stopped himself, smiled, and continued, “Jesus took the bread.  A minute later, as he lifted the cup, he continued, “Then Jesus took the cup.”  At the time, I was writing papers and going through ordination interviews and worried more than I should have.  I remember being worried for him when he first misspoke.  But his acceptance of the flub made it ok for everyone and it offered me another vision of how ministry and ministers could look.  

There are very few maxims or standard operating procedures Alex imparted and I memorized, though it seems this is what many people mean when they describe a mentoring relationship.  There’s a strange focus on “the takeaway.”  What I took away was something constructed over time, in small moments and flubbed lines:  an incarnate example of living out a call to ordained ministry with authenticity and grace.

That’s what I needed to make it real.  I needed to see how it was done and how it felt, to ask questions – especially when they seemed embarrassing or stupid.  I needed someone to say, like Alex did once, “It took me about 10 years to feel like this was really my life, and not a role or persona I was adopting.”

We all need people who are willing to be real and to let that real-ness be visible to others.    This is the gift of a mentor and it can be carried further and lived out more fully than any maxim.  It’s the gift of resonance between lives.

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photo credit:  “Open Table (Rock)” © 2011 Aaron Stiles, Used with permission.

 

Trying to Tell You Something about My Life

You know those songs that perfectly capture an era or a relationship?  The ones that take you back to that moment in a flash and you can feel who you were back then?  guitar headstocks

For me, one of those tunes is the Indigo Girls’ Closer to Fine.  Amy, Emily, and this song have traveled with me through many years, stages, and places.  But I every time I hear it I can remember singing I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper and I was free, while still yearning for that paper.  For a certain group of my friends and countless others from my generation, that song is emblematic, galvanizing, community-making.  Name this song to one of us and we’ll tell you about the first Indigo Girls concert or where we were when that album came out.  With its iconic first line – I’m trying to tell you something about my life – the confession and the invitation begin…

 [Click here for the rest of the story at the National Campus Ministry Association blog.]

Fence-sitting and Pastoral Boundaries

Our church is fighting in public.  Again.  This month – this week in particular – it’s a church trial in Pennsylvania.  Rev. Frank Schaefer is on trial for officiating at the wedding of his son, who is gay.  public domain image_black and white picture of throngs of Dartmouth students sitting on a fence

Currently our United Methodist Book of Discipline, in a feat of fence-sitting “balance,” considers every human regardless of sexuality to be an individual of “sacred worth” but maintains that homosexuality is “incompatible with Christian teaching.”  We do not allow people to be clergy if they are “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” but we hold fast to (most) civil rights for LGBT people and unequivocally condemn violence against them . Our churches are not permitted to host weddings for same-sex couples, neither are our pastors permitted to officiate at these weddings. 

It’s an uncomfortable fence and we have been straddling it for a while.

The basic details in the Schaefer trial are this:  His son asked him to officiate at his wedding and Schaefer agreed.  The pastor told his district superintendent but not his congregation.  Life and ministry went on.  Over 5 years later – in the month when the statute of limitations would have expired for this “offense” – a member of Schaefer’s church filed a complaint.  The member, Jon Boger, was by this point living in another state and not involved in any church congregation but his membership was still on record at Schaefer’s church.  Boger’s mother worked at the church and had recently been fired.

Many have noticed the unusual timing of Boger’s complaint (many years after the wedding but just in time to cause trouble) and his own anger and presumed retaliation over his mother’s job loss.  It certainly explains a lot. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t explain why we went ahead with a trial clearly forged out of anger and vengeance but that just happened to have an actual complaint wrapped up in the middle.  If the Council of Bishops has “discretion as the chief pastors of the church over the manner, purpose, and conduct of any supervisory response and just resolution under ‘fair process’” then they have missed a golden opportunity to exercise that discretion – especially given the retaliatory nature of the so-called complaint.  To make it even plainer:  If Boger had expressed his true complaint (i.e.,” You fired my mom!”) and this wouldn’t have gone to trial, why did it proceed?  A genuinely contentious and heartbreaking issue has been hijacked to serve another purpose and the Council sat by while it played out.

Something else bothering me throughout conversations about this trial is the well-meaning but theologically insubstantial point that Schaefer did this wedding for his own son.  This line of reasoning seems to posit that since it was a family matter, charges, punishments, and what’s at state theologically and pastorally are different.  Indeed, Schaefer may be speaking in a mixed way about both his duty as a father and his duty as a pastor – and who could blame him?

But for those of us observing and praying and talking about this from a few steps back, I find it dangerous to talk about pastoral-priestly actions clergy take within their own families as somehow separate from their vocation and ordination “to the rest of us.”  I am a pastor all the time but it is dangerous to think of myself as a pastor to my husband, for example.  That is not my role in that relationship.  This doesn’t mean we never officiate at funerals or weddings or baptisms within our own families, but it does require greater clarity on the part of the pastor as to her motivations and role in those moments. 

In the terms I hear Jesus using (“Woman here is your son”; “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”), he more often points us outside of our intimate and familial circles to those unrelated by blood, even those we don’t yet know or like or understand.  In theological terms, “he was doing it for his own son” seems to hold less water than “he did it for a church member” or “he did it for a person from the neighborhood who he didn’t know previously.” 

I say this not to diminish Schaefer’s actions but to ask all of us to consider the terrain more closely.  The argument that the church should go easy on him because he “just” did this for his son is a weak argument and not theologically sound.  The body of Christ forms us into a new family, creating brothers and sisters where before there were strangers.  The body of Christ does not call us to close ranks and minister to those closest to us but rather to extend the good news of Christ’s gospel to people and places where we are uncomfortable, challenged, or even afraid to go.

It seems clear to me Schaefer was acting both as a loving father and a minister of the gospel when he agreed to officiate at his son’s wedding.  He has said, “I did not want to make this a protest about the doctrine of the church. I wasn’t trying to be an advocate.  I just wanted this to be a beautiful family affair, and it was that.”  His ongoing concern for where his congregation is on these issues, even as he sought to minister to his son and respond to the call of the gospel, strikes me as pastoral (not cowardly or culpable as Boger and others might imply).  Schaefer has also said, “I love the United Methodist Church. I’ve been a minister for almost 20 years and there are so many good things about the United Methodist Church except for that one rule.” 

I support what Schaefer did, along with the actions of Bishops Swenson and Talbert and the group effort of solidarity earlier this month elsewhere in Pennsylvania.  I want our church to get off the fence and I want us to match our actions and our Discipline to the radically inclusive and norm-breaking love of Christ.  Of course, I want us to get off the fence in one particular direction:  full inclusion of all people in the full life of the church. 

I have no idea if this will happen or when.  But I write about it and I pray for it.  And I pray we United Methodists will remember both Jesus and John Wesley, who said, “As to all opinions which do not strike at the root of Christianity, we think and let think.”  The sexuality issues we are fighting about are not at the root of Christianity.  But to refuse full inclusion in the body of Christ to our brothers and sisters chops right into the root and threatens to sever it.  It’s a refusal to see Jesus for who he is (Matthew 25: 31-46).

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photo credit:  public domain

When the Bishop Tells You to Take It, You Take It

Take thou authority, he said through the phone.  I was nervous.  I called my friend and colleague because I’d been asked to celebrate Communion at a large gathering of other clergy.  As a commissioned but not yet ordained clergyperson (United Methodists have a long and confusing process), I still looked for a lot of help, clarification, and feedback.  I was the new kid, still practicing, and yet to have hands placed on my head by the bishop… 

Click here for the rest of the story at the catapult magazine website.  Thanks for reading!

ordination

Holy Spirit red stoles. I’m laying hands on a former student, kneeling at his ordination.

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Photo credit:  © 2012 Aaron Stiles, Used with permission.

Who’s in the Market for a Field?

birch tree with leaves and peeling bark

A sermon on Jeremiah 31: 1-3a, 6-15 preached at Wesley Memorial UMC during Family Weekend at UVA.

 I sit through a lot of meetings and read a lot of articles about The State of the Church.  As you may have heard, we are older, we are smaller, our buildings are in need of repair, and we aren’t as flush as we used to be.  I’m not seeking out these meetings and articles – they are hard to escape.  A vocal and vigilant group of church Chicken Littles wants to make sure everyone else knows the sky is falling. 

In a lot of the church we have decided the way to “fix” our problems is to frantically recruit young people, to become less building-focused, and to count everything.  Most of the angst and worry seems to be backward-looking – how can we have church like we did in 1958 when, if you wanted to fit in to polite society church is just what you did and there were fewer distractions like Netflix or Sunday soccer, and people had more time since only 1 person in the couple worked (guess which one? and everyone was in a couple)? 

             What if, instead of the articles and hand-wringing conferences about the dearth of young people in church, we the church took that missing group seriously enough to find out where they are instead?  What’s Sunday like for them?  Weekends?  Family life?  Why?  What’s spirituality like for them?  Tell me more about it.  Help me understand you.  And, what if we didn’t do this as a ploy to pull them “back” into church, but because it’s the kind of thing Jesus would do – seeking out the people overlooked or despised by the religious authorities and treating them as children of God, brothers and sisters…

            I can hear the Chicken Littles now.  But we don’t have time for that!  We need someone to lead the youth group now.  We need to build a better budget and those young folks are the workers now.  We don’t have time to sit around and listen to their lives – we were young once, we remember what it was like – and, besides, the sky is falling!

            Have you noticed how the most faithful, God-oriented moments in life are often the ones that, on the surface, make no sense?  Do you have some of those in your life?  In my own life, I once drove several hundred miles out of my way to see a guy I’d had only two dates with – and who ended up becoming my husband.  God calls to us across the strange terrain of long road trips and unexpected random acts of kindness and the seemingly strange last-minute switches of your major or you career.  Often these moments and decisions don’t seem like wise choices to the onlookers in our lives.

They can even seem foolhardy or wasteful.  Like trying to stretch 7 loaves and 2 fish to feed 5000.  Like leaving 99 sheep on their own in order to go find the one who’s lost.  Like standing on a hillside proclaiming that the meek will inherit the earth.

            Or, like buying real estate in the middle of a war zone.

            In a city under siege at that very moment, with the Babylonians pounding at the gates and about to conquer Jerusalem and capture its people, God instructs Jeremiah to buy a plot of land.  If ever there was Chicken Little territory this was it.  The sky may not have been falling but the walls were crumbling, the gates were giving way, and armies were on the move.  Jeremiah himself has been warning the people for 31 chapters by this point – warning them to turn from their idolatry and come back to the one true God.  Then, at the moment when all he’s been saying is in the process of coming true, God tells him to buy a field right in the middle of all that turmoil, chaos, and heartbreak. 

And God tells Jeremiah to put the deed in a jar so it will “last for a long time…  [because] Houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in this land” (32: 15).  It’s a bet on the future, grounded in the hope of God’s promise that even this sad and forlorn day is not the end of the story.  It’s also a metaphor for our hearts, upon which this promise has been written.  The fertile soil of our hearts will be purchased, developed, and rebuilt by God.

I think this is one of the most radical, hope-filled moments in the entire Bible….  To purchase a piece of land that’s already been captured, as you are about to be captured next – while proclaiming God is up to something good.  If we were to set it today’s world, it might look like a prisoner who studies for her GED and works on her resume even though she has 20 more years to go on her sentence.  It might look like a Syrian teenager applying to college with rockets overhead and gunmen on the corners.  It might look like a small church with a shrinking budget investing in people who aren’t members.

What a flimsy-seeming sign of hope – a slip of paper bought in a war zone.  Flimsy and vulnerable, like a baby born in a stable. 

This is the way God works:  with what seems small or meaningless or not quite enough – and with the long view.  Jeremiah had a deed but there was a long way to go before the houses and vineyards would sprout up on that land.  Mary had a baby but it was a long time before the world could see it had a savior.

This is the way hope works:  It’s about choosing to believe that God makes good on God’s promises and that we will never be left to our own devices. 

            The Chicken Littles may think the church has the deed to a worthless plot of decaying buildings and rundown property.  No matter what it looks like from here, the truth is God’s given us a field and a promise.  We don’t have to just wait for the vineyards to appear – we can help plant them.       

We can live in bold hope during uncertain times.  Hope is not the same thing as wishing.  Wishing takes us backward to the way things used to be or into our own imagination, where we concoct what we think would be a better future.  Hope, on the other hand, takes us into God’s imagination, offering a glimpse so we’ll recognize it when it gets here…a taste so we are hungry for it.  Hope means behaving now as if what God promises is already happening – because it is.

The vineyards and new houses are waiting for us.  Do you see them?  We can reacquaint ourselves with our neighbors, simply because they are our neighbors.  We can go, like Jesus, to where the people are and consider that perhaps we are the ones who need to change in order for the church to work.  We may be called on to spend the last dollar we have on a field in this war zone.  Or on taking a student to coffee when there is no time to waste and no line item in the budget for that kind of thing. 

I happen to work in part of the church where we are flush with young people.  I also happen to work in part of the church that relies on the rest of the church for support.  So, believe me, I understand the dilemma and I feel the pinch.  But I need to point out this obvious fact:  we do have some young people.  Excellent, passionate, faithful disciples who happen to be under 25. So while I do think we need to pay attention to who isn’t here and go out to them and learn about them and figure out how to be better neighbors to them….I also think we need to pay better attention to those who are already here. 

A few years back I was talking with our Wesley Foundation student president at the time.  She had been involved and in leadership at Wesley her entire time in college.  Because she came from one our district churches, that church was even involved in helping to bring food for Thursday night dinners – so they saw firsthand what she was up to here at UVA and they obviously supported campus ministry.  But she told me once that what she loved most about the Wesley Foundation was she could actually do things and lead things here.  She said, “At my home church they would never let me lead anything.”  They had a young, faithful, creative person who’d honed her leadership here in college but who wouldn’t have been asked to join the Trustees at her own church.  She hadn’t served her time to work up to that position.  She needed to pay her dues and listen to her elders a while longer.  That right there is a failure of imagination on the part of her church.  That’s a church that would rather believe in their own abilities to raise a few sour grapes in captivity than believe that God had already purchased a piece of land for a bountiful vineyard.

Let me be clear here:  we are all in this together.  We are all called to become better neighbors to those in our midst – not just to those in our pews.  Students and young people, you are not off the hook when the church’s imagination is impoverished and they don’t listen to your ideas or make you head of something the moment you arrive.  You are also called to invest in this strange war-torn piece of land, to seek out new neighbors.  Who do you see without seeing in your daily rounds of Grounds?  Whose name do you need to learn at the social hour after church?  Where will you invest with hope?

If I wanted to be crankier than I already am, I could spend a lot of time shooting down student ideas and telling them how we tried that once 20 years ago.  Or I could worry more about whether the church will continue to fund campus ministry. 

But I choose hope. 

The church will not look like it did 50 years ago 50 years from now – or even in 5.  And I think that’s a good thing.  God is doing a new thing.  God has a slip of paper with our names written on it and it’s more important and valuable than all that pounding at the gate and chunks of sky falling to the ground.  There is more to come.  God is not done with the church or young people or any one of us yet.  Just you wait for the next chapter!   And, while you’re waiting, how about asking the Starbucks barista what his life is like?  How about taking a student to coffee?

Thanks be to God!

Phone Booth Redecoration and Other Futile Pastimes

red uk phone booths in the snow

© 2013 Oatsy40

I heard Nadia Bolz-Weber speak during our United Methodist Campus Ministry Association conference in Denver last week.  I am not a tattooed person, mainly because I can’t imagine picking something I would still like in 20 years.  (I change glasses frames every couple of years!)  Nadia, who is amply tattooed, is the kind of fierce, attractive, solid person who makes you take notice.  She even made me sort of want a tattoo.

But that’s not what this post is about.  It’s about desperation. 

Nadia made an observation that was so spot on, I laughed out loud and I’m still thinking about it.  She pointed out that just because people are cynical about institutions does not mean they don’t want what the institutions have promised.  So, though folks may be hesitant about and suspicious of church as an institution, they may also be hungry for community, God-space, ritual, sacrament…. 

She also observed that it’s near impossible these days to find a phone booth and that one could conclude from this evidence that people are no longer interested in communicating by phone.  Clearly, the wrong conclusion to draw.

red bubble-shaped phone booth

© 2006 Ben Tesch

Because she pastors a church with many young people in it, she often gets questions from other pastors about how to get young people to come to their churches.  Many of these questions have the air of desperation about them, anxious people asking her how to redecorate their phone booths so that people will use them again.

Well now, preach it, sister.

Irish phone booth

© 2012 Peter Mooney

What a refreshing (though hilarious and sad) image.  What a helpful breath of fresh air in the circular church conversations going on these days.  The takeaway from her observation is that if we are more concerned about the phone booth than the people we hope will use it, we have missed the point.  The phone booth served its purpose in its time.  But why would we keep using resources to clean and repair them on every street corner while every person who walks by is already talking on her own mobile phone? 

People do want to communicate by phone and they do long for real and intimate and holy connection, with one another and with God.  They just don’t look for a phone booth – no matter how beautifully renovated and decorated – to do so. 

Our phone booth days are over but that’s no cause for desperation or despair.  What’s next?  What is the phone booth you need to retire?  What does your faith community offer to a hungry world?  Is it still sitting in a phone booth waiting for them to show up and find it?  How do the people who peer into your church doors find their way in to what you can offer?  How do you change the way you speak and offer so they can hear and partake?  How do you change the way you listen to who and where people are right now?  How do you receive the gifts they bring?

black and white phone booths.  hell's kitchen, ny

© 2013 Jim Pennucci

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photo credits:  Click each photo for a link back to its original page.  Mooney licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.  All others licensed under CC BY 2.0.

 

Getting on the Right Side of History

logo for the Reconciling Ministries Network

I’m pretty sure that on a certain Friday a couple of thousand years ago most people would have thought Jesus was “on the wrong side of history.”  Even that Sunday, most people still thought he had failed, story over.  But this isn’t the story Christians tell, which is why I find the persistent use of the phrase “getting on the right side of history” to be misguided.

It’s been a full week of astounding, surprising, maddening Supreme Court decisions.  I worry over the implications and battles ahead as we deal with the disintegration of the Voting Rights Act.  I celebrate the next day’s decision and the implications and new hope ahead as we live into a broader, more beautiful understanding of marriage.

My church is still arguing about sexuality.  There is currently a movement called An Altar for All, asking clergy and laity to sign on to support celebrating all marriages by our clergy and in our churches.  In my Conference there was a lot of buzz around this leading up to our Annual Conference two weeks ago.  After last Wednesday’s Supreme Court decisions, on Facebook I saw a United Methodist colleague calling our church to “get on the right side of history.”

I happen to agree with him on the sexuality issues and on the fact that if we keep going the way we are we may be seen by everyone else as having been “on the wrong side of history.”  I’m annoyed and heartbroken by where we are and I have been for a long, long time.  But the troubling part of his (and many others’ statements like this) is that they imply that our Christian priority is to be “right” and, most importantly, to be seen as right by the culture at large.  I don’t know that this is his (or anyone’s) intention, but the repeated use of that phrase suggests it.

I want us to advocate and fight for full inclusion in the life of the church for all people because it’s what the example of Jesus calls us to do – regardless of the scorn and loss of membership we might incur now and regardless of whether anyone in or outside of the church agrees that it’s the “right side of history.”  It’s Jesus’ side and that’s our priority.  Jesus is the justification, the plumb line by which we measure, not some future pronouncement by the culture.

This is not an argument, but a lament.  I know that there are good, faithful people who disagree on this issue and I don’t want to convince or debate right now.  I simply want to express my deep, faithful yearning for our change of heart.  And I want us to stop worrying about history’s “right side.”

The story Christians tell is about listening to God and following in the wake of the Holy Spirit, even and especially when it is at odds with what is conventionally considered “right.”  It’s not about being “right” or “first to be right.”  It’s about faithfulness and about being man/woman and Christian enough to change course when you realize your mistake and your sin.  At the moment, it seems that the rest of the culture is going in the direction I hear God calling.  I want my church to hear it, too, and follow.